Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers
by IceWulf7
Summary: My second, if not expiremental, C&H story. When Calvin is booted out of the house on Saturday Morning, he decides to play the famous cultstatus cartoon about 4 turtles... Incomplete.
1. Chapter 1

Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers

Intro: If it's one thing I have weirdness about, it's my mini-obsessions. I'd obsess about something for about a month, but then I'd move on. One of the fun things about is the fact that I can write about almost anything. For example, I wrote Final Fantasy Origins: Remix during my Classic Final Fantasy fetish. If you could guess, I am having a fetish about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the 80's version, not that crappy new one made by 4Kids), so maybe I can use this chapter to break my mini-obsession. This will tae place after the events of Calvin and Hobbes in Kingdom Hearts, my other C&H story. Read and Review, tell me if this interests you (My main Fanfiction, C&H in KH, only has about 4 Chapters left), and flames will be used to boil water for Turtle Soup. ENJOY!

_Chapter One: Heroes in the Double Stripe_

It was a hot, summer's day. School was out for the season, and the boy they call Calvin, with his friend, Hobbes, have woken up early for their usual Saturday-morning cartoon ritual. With their bowls of cereal, Calvin having his favorite Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs and Hobbes with just some Raisin Bran, sat down to watch their animated heroes bop each other with heavy objects and narrowly escape baddies in their silly manners. However, when Calvin reached for the remote…

Calvin: (Remote Clicks) Hey, what the heck?

Hobbes: Did you check the batteries?

Calvin: (Opens back of remote) they must be dead. Stupid lazy parents can't even change a few dumb batteries… (Walks up to TV, presses power switch, TV doesn't react) Huh? (Presses button many times) MOM, DAD, THE TV'S BUSTED!

Calvin's Dad: (Walks in with Calvin's Mom) Calvin, we need to talk.

Calvin: You're darn right. We need a new TV. Maybe plasma-screen-(Interrupted)

Calvin's Mom: You need to stop getting up every Saturday like this and taking the couch for 5 hours watching your shows. It's not healthy.

Calvin: (Points to Hobbes) But, his favorite show, Thundercats, will be on in a few minutes!

Hobbes: (In stuffed-animal form)…

Calvin's Dad: It's bad enough you are afraid of the baseball and the bike.

Calvin: I've got proof! The baseball's like a piranha and the bike's possessed! I've said it before! You guys just don't listen.

Calvin's Dad: (Ignoring Calvin) so, we've unplugged the TV. That way, you can play outside all morning long, instead.

Calvin: You can't make me! **IT'S A FREE COUNTRY!**

(View of outside house)

Calvin: (Tosses out the door with stuffed animal Hobbes) AAAAAAAAH! (Hits ground) Well, nuts. What do you want to do, Hobbes?

Hobbes: (Growls) I wanted to see my episode. I heard this is the one where Liono is supposed to finally beat Mum-Ra…

Calvin: There's go to be some other way of seeing our shows…

Hobbes: (Scratches chin) Well, we could visit Susie…

Calvin: **NO WAY!**

Hobbes: Come on, she'd have to let you stay. You saved her heart back in Hallow Bastion, right? Plus, she knows you like her. You haven't thrown a single water balloon at her yet. Not even at G.R.O.S.S.

Calvin: …Hmm…I don't know.

Hobbes: After we see our shows, we could clog her toilet.

Calvin: Okay! G.R.O.S.S. operation: "Sneak & Vandalize" is underway!

_At Susie's house…_

Calvin: (Knocks on door)

Susie: (Opens door half-way) Calvin? What are you doing here?

Hobbes: We were kind of wondering…

Calvin: Can we please watch TV with you? Hobbes is missing his 'ep of Thundercats and we've still gotta see Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!

Susie: Let me think about this, you porcupine head. (Closes door)

Calvin: (Feels hair) Are my spikes really _that big?_

Susie: (Thinking) _I don't know what to think of Calvin anymore. One day, he's hitting me with slush balls, the next he's practically asking me out. Ever since that adventure to find Kingdom Hearts, he's been acting all mushy towards me. Well, I have let him in once, and he DID save my life and soul…_ (Opens door) Come on in!

Calvin: (Enters house) you are one awesome girl, Susie!

(?): One awesome _person._

Hobbes: Ozymandias?

Ozy: Yes, it's me.

Calvin: How'd you get here?

Ozy: I told you, I'd figure out that Navi-G to your world someday, Calvin.

Calvin: Cool.

Susie: (Pulls out cereals) Choco-Chunkies, Berry Blitzes, or Captain Chomp?

Hobbes: (Raises paw) All of the above!

Calvin: (Flips through channels) Bugs Bunny, here we come!

And so, the Boy, the Girl, the Tiger and the Fox proceeded to enjoy the animated adventures of a tricky rabbit, an easily-angered duck, and a pig with a slight speech impediment, a hungry coyote and an elusive roadrunner, and many more. After a while, there was a knock on the door. Who showed up surprised the television viewers.

Calvin's Mom: I had a feeling I'd find you here.

Calvin: (Whispers) _Eep! Ozy, pretend to be a stuffed animal!_

Ozy: (Whispers back) _I understand! _(Falls to the ground like a rag doll)

Calvin: (To his parents, nervously) Heh, what are you guys doing here?

Calvin's Dad: Mr. and Mrs. Derkins called to us and asked if you called earlier.

Calvin: I can explain! I-(Interrupted)

Susie: It was my fault. I invited him over. I didn't' have any idea he was grounded form Saturday cartoons.

Mr. Derkins: Well, Susie, we forgive you, but your friend will have to leave.

Calvin's Mom: Come on, Calvin. (Notices Ozy) And, nicely sewn stuffed animal, Susie.

Susie: Thank you.

_Later…_

Annoyed, Calvin and Hobbes were aimlessly walking around outside. Susie and Ozy joined them.

Susie: Hi, Calvin.

Ozy: Sorry about what happened. We had no idea.

Hobbes: Calvin's a little steamed about losing his TV privileges…

Calvin: **It's not fair! I'd understand if I looked like Jabba the Hutt, but come on!**

Hobbes: I think he meant, "Thanks for taking the blame for us".

Susie: It's okay. That's the least I could do for what you did.

Ozy: Well, it's a nice day out. How about we play a game, like tag, or capture the flag, or ninja…

Calvin: (Stops sulking) what did you say?

Ozy: I just suggested…

Calvin: No, that last one.

Ozy: Ninja?

Calvin: Ninja…I've got an idea! (Runs behind house)

Susie: Whatever it is, I hope it involves Calvin keeping his…pants on.

_Some time later…_

Calvin had prepared something behind his house. It looked like he took four cardboard boxes and turned them into helmets.

Calvin: (Dramatic) Pre-SEEEEEEEEEENTING… The brand-new Toon Helmets!

Ozy: Is this one of your cardboard box inventions?

Hobbes: (Counts on fingers) let's see, we have the Transmogrifier, the Time Machine, the Duplicator, the Gummi Ship…

Calvin: (Ignoring Hobbes and Ozy) with this, we can put ourselves into any cartoon we choose. And I choose…Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Susie: Teenage Mutant…

Ozy: Ninja…

Hobbes: Turtles?

Calvin: Yeah! Just think about it! We'll have these really neat ninja weapons, and we'll beat the Tabasco sauce out of bad guys like the Shredder, Krang, Leatherhead, and Casey Jones!

Hobbes: Wait, wasn't Casey a good guy?

Ozy: This is something Millie would think of.

Susie: How, do you think, we'll get into this supposed world?

Calvin: Are you saying my inventions don't work!

Hobbes: (Holds stomach) because, trust me, they do.

Calvin: Okay, let's put on the helmets. (Sticks one on each kid's head) now, press the button on it.

Susie/Hobbes/Ozy: (Reluctantly pushes button) …

Calvin: (Pushes button) Boink!

Hobbes: (Monotone) Zip-a-dee-doo-dah.

Susie: Ka-pink!

Ozy: _Blizzard!_

At that moment, the world around our young heroes became dark and flashed all the colors of the rainbow. All of a sudden, the world had changed. What was once the familiar white house of Calvin and Hobbes was now a dark alleyway covered with graffiti. They were in New York City.

Susie: It. Worked?

Ozy: Intriguing. It's-

Hobbes: (With Ozy) amazing what corrugated Cardboard Boxes can do these days…

Calvin: Isn't it? Welcome, my friends, to the N.Y.C.!

Ozy: This can't be real. (Feels his fur) My senses are working fine… (Feels brick wall) It feels real…

Susie: (Eyes are large in her head) the people seem real!

Gangster: (Blocking alleyway) what's a couple of kids doing in these here streets?

Calvin: Uh-oh.

Gangster: Youse darn right "Uh-oh". (Draws switchblade) I'll bet your mommies and daddies will pay big money to have you back. (Opens switchblade)

Calvin: uh, guys, unless you want to become carving blocks, we'd better become the Ninja Turtles.

Susie: How are we going to do that?

Calvin: (Said as gangster approaches) just think of your favorite turtle, and you'll change into him! Quick!

The four closed their eyes tight. In a break of light, their bodies changed form. They did not become turtles, but Calvin, Susie, and Ozy morphed into familiar beasts. Along with the normal sashes and weapons, they instead become tigers! When the four opened their eyes, they grew a determined look.

Susie: Wow!

Hobbes: Okay, you punk, you'd better beware…

Ozy: Because a new good is here to stay!

Calvin: Cue corny intro music!

_(Entering music video mode)_

_doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo…_

Calvin: We are…the Preteen…

Hobbes: Mutant…

Susie: Ninja…

Ozy: Tigers!

_Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers,_

_Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Heroes in the Double Stripe…_

All: **TIGER POWER!**

_They're…one of the world's most fearsome fighting team…_

Calvin: Hey!

_They're kids with double stripes, and they're…not green?_

Hobbes: Orange and Black are much better in my opinion.

_When the evil Shredder attacks, these tiger kids won't CUT NO SLACK!_

_Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers,_

_Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Heroes in the Double Stripe…_

All: **TIGER POWER!**

_Mr. Bun guides this goofy tiger team…_

Susie: He's a radical rabbit!

_Calvin-ardo leads, Ozy-Tello does machines…_

Ozy: That's a fact, true.

_Hobbes-eal is cool, but crude…_

Hobbes: get a grip!

_Susie-Angela is a party chick!_

Susie: Yippee!

_Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers,_

_Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Heroes in the Double Stripe…_

All: **TIGER POWER!**

_Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers,_

_Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Heroes in the Double Stripe…_

_TIGER POWER!_

_(End music video)_

Calvin: Calvin-Ardo's the name, leading's my game! If you step up, I'll cut you down to size with my double-Katana Sword slash!

Ozy: _Konnichiwa,_ sir. I am Ozy-Tello. I am very talented in machinery, but I'm sure others are better. I'll regret it, but I may have no choice but to attack you with my Bo Staff.

Hobbes: I'm Hobbes-Eal. I'm the toughest one, because tigers are the strongest big cat in the world. I'll run through you with my Sai double daggers!

Susie: Hey, you can call me Susie-Angela, and boy do I like to have fun! I like hitting people with my Nunchukas almost as much, so watch out! (Blows kiss)

Gangster: You four creep me out! I'm out of here! (Runs)

Hobbes: Since when were you a fun-lover, Susie?

Susie: Ever since I grew orange sashes, fur, chained-together sticks and claws, that's when!

Calvin: Well, let's have fun, shall we?

Ozy: Your parents said you _were _going to play outside…

Hobbes: And here, fighting Foot Soldiers and playing tag are almost the same!

Calvin: Well let's do this!

The four then ran off to discover what changed in their realities as they were…

THE PRETEEN MUTANT NINJA TIGERS!

_End chapter one._


	2. Chapter 2

Intro: I can't believe this has a fan. No one reviewed FFO: Remix and I seriously offended a certain group of people in DGMN: Beta Force, but somehow I offended no one and managed to get a single review. Thank you, Terminator Hobbes! And now, I shall continue on with PMNT: Chapter 2!

_Chapter 2: Meet the baddies_

Calvin, Hobbes, Susie and Ozy, now in the form of the Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, advanced through the sewers of New York City, trying to locate the lair of the heroes they are emulating, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Ozy: I'm still astonished this is actually happening.

Calvin: You need to be more open-minded to your imagination, Ozy.

Hobbes: Just glad I wasn't affected by any of the transforming. All I got was red sashes and pointy dagger thingies.

Susie: Oh well. Say, Calvin how does this world work?

Calvin: Glad you asked... you dumb girl. Now, whatever or whoever we remember that was very important will appear here as well. Obviously, you can interact with anyone wearing the helmets.

Hobbes: Or we wouldn't be talking right now.

Calvin: Right, but the plot remains similar. For example, Susie, you said in the corny theme song that Mr. Bun was our sensei. However, I think Splinter will still be the sensei, and Mr. Bun will be an apprentice or something.

Hobbes: Speaking of which, we may just find out now. The lair is up ahead, boys and girl.

Indeed, the local of the Ninja/Hero Turtles was up ahead. Waiting within were a tall, tan rabbit with green sashes and the TMNT sensei, Master Splinter.

Mr. Bun: Where were you guys? You were late. We thought you'd been detected!

Calvin: (Whispering) _Susie, your doll creeps me out._

Splinter: What was that, young Calvin-Ardo?

Calvin: Nothing, sir!

Hobbes: Erm, I think Susie-Angela hit Calvin-Ardo too hard with her Nunchucks. He asked what was going on.

Susie: (Blows kiss) I think my weapons have a magnetic attraction to frizzle-top's head!

Mr. Bun: Whatever! Okay, ever since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were captured by the Shredder, we came here to help them out. It turns out we were mutated by the same goop that transformed Splinter and the turtles. Got it, Calvin?

Ozy: I'm sure that he understands now, thank you.

Calvin: (To self) _In more ways than one…_

Splinter: Calvin-Ardo, you really must speak up when you talk.

Calvin: Oops!

Hobbes: So…you don't mind if we check out some of this stuff?

Splinter: it is best you not, but if you do, return it the way you left it.

Ozy: (Chuckles) too bad you aren't allowed to touch anything, Calvin-Ardo.

Calvin: Zip it, Ozy…Tello!

And so, for a few leisurely minutes, the four kids enjoyed the possessions of their favorite reptiles. Calvin sat down and watched the big-screen TV to catch the episodes he missed back in the real world; Hobbes helped himself to Mikey's comic book collection, Susie panted her claws and trained with Mr. Bun and his Quarter Staff, and Ozy meditated with Splinter. When all of a sudden, the cartoons are cancelled due to an emergency news update. The reporter: A slightly older version of Ozy's friend, Millie, making the report.

Millie: I'm Millicent O'Neal, live on the streets of New York City for a special news update.

Ozy: (Meditation breaks) Millicent?

Millie: That's right. It's Judgment Day here, as the crime organization calling themselves the Foot Clan, no I'm not making this name up either, has launched an all-out attack. All residents must stay indoors and arm themselves, for they are coming for you!

Susie: Huh? (Hit in the head with Mr. Bun's Quarter Staff) Ouch!

Millie: I know what you're thinking, "What kind of freaks attacks us?" Well, you'd better look for yourselves. (Pan camera to streets)

Marching behind multiple uniformed ninjas with their faces covered, were four forces of evil. A teenage woman wearing metal armor over her red shirt and jeans, face covered by a metal samurai helmet, was fallowed by three cronies: A huge, hulking teenage rabbit wearing a ripped-up jersey, an equally large lamb, and a short, yet masculine, boy with a black shirt and yellow pants. His greasy black hair covered his eyes, but the strangest part was the glass barrier in his abdominals containing a monster brain. In reality, they were Calvin and Ozy's worst nightmares: Rosalyn and Moe, plus Jeremy Studdely and Felicia.

Jeremy: You'd better respect! The name's Rock-Studdely! I'll smash you fairy boy humans into hamburger! (Breaks down house with a single punch)

Felecia: Like, guh, you can call me Felecia-Bop. I like to take fashion-senseless dorks and fry them like onion rings with my combination Hairdryer/Ray Gun!

Cops: Get her! (Fires at Felecia)

Felecia: Back off! Blue is like, so 5 minutes ago! (Fires laser rings out of ray gun, knocking policemen away)

Moe/Krang: (Simultaneously) You simpletons! Bow before the awesome might of Krang, intergalactic warrior of Dimension X! (Shoots rockets from Moe's hands at police cars, blowing them sky-high)

Rosalyn: Allow me to introduce my ninja soldiers, for I am their leader, the Shreddette! I tear little brats to pieces with my metal claws! (Holds up little kid, slowly placing claws against kid's cheek) If you don't give me all the money in your banks, this monster won't be the only thing I tear in half!

Millie: As you can see, we are in serious trouble. I leave you with only one question: Where are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Calvin: (Turns off TV) we don't know, but the Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers can stop you punks! Come on, kids!

Hobbes/Ozy/Susie/Mr. Bun: **_You got it!_**

_A quick ride in the Turtle Van later…_

With Splinter on the wheel, our four ninja tiger heroes advanced into the streets of NYC.

Splinter: Now we shall see if you four are really trustworthy of tracking down my students and sons.

Ozy: Do not worry, Master Splinter. We shall fight to our best efforts.

Susie: That's right. I'm ready to fight.

Hobbes: (To Calvin) _Calvin, can you…die in this virtual reality?_

Calvin: (To Hobbes) _uh…I didn't test that feature. You can feel pain, but I don't know if real damage stays with you in reality._

Hobbes: (Tail becomes bushy) WHAT?

Mr. Bun: (Swerves) Whoa! The road up ahead is too damaged for me to go further. Shall Sensei and I come with you?

Susie: We'll scream out to you if we need help. (To PMNT) Who are we? (Places paw forward)

Calvin: We're Teenage… (Puts paw on Susie's)

Ozy: Mutant… (Places paw on Calvin and Susie's)

Hobbes: Ninja… (Places paw on the other three's)

Susie: Tigers!

Calvin/Ozy/Hobbes/Susie: **_Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers,_**

**_Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers, Heroes in the Double Stripe, TIGER POWER! _**(Exits Turtle Van)

Rosalyn: (Looks at van) Well, what do you know? Some more freaks want to try and stop us. Foot Ninjas, _get them!_

The ninja jumped into the scene as Calvin, Hobbes, Susie, and Ozy drew their weapons and got ready to fight, for "real"! The first crowd was yellow-suited and unarmed. A wave of soldiers jump-kicked, but fell when our heroes ducked. : ) sadly, one grabbed Susie in a choke hold, but Ozy was there to Bo Staff whack the punk unconscious. Hobbes dueled with one Foot Soldier, fist to claw, but another sneaked up from behind and held Hobbes down as the other punched and kicked the tiger in his long, lanky gut. Calvin, with his Keyblade practice, slashed the puncher, and then proceeded to throw one of his Katana at the holder's head. The baddie ducked, and Hobbes used this to his advantage to stab the yellow Foot ninja. Susie flipped her Nunchukas around one soldier's neck and choked him as revenge for her strangling attack. Luckily, Susie didn't choke long enough to kill, but released the throat and bopped the back of the head with her other Nunchuck. Stomping into place was then Jeremy.

Jeremy: Time to make me some tiger-skin bathing suits!

Calvin: (Running to recover other Katana) EW… that's gross. Possibly, if I can get my other sword…

Jeremy: (Punts Calvin) that's what you think, you fairy cat!

Ozy: Jeremy, you can only call one person a fairy… (Smashes staff in Jeremy's face) **_Me!_**

Jeremy: (Whines, holds faces) Aaaoww…my node!

Susie: Who's a fairy boy now? (Slings Nunchukas)

Jeremy: (Hit by Nunchucks) OMPH! Felecia-Bop, stop combing your fleece and get out here!

Calvin: (Crawling along ground, hurt) _almost…got…it…_

Felecia: Like, guh, I was only powdering my snout! (Switches Hairdryer to "Shake and Bake" setting) Time to make a fashionable tiger-print jacket! (Fires laser rings)

Hobbes: GET BEHIND ME! (Runs ahead and catches lasers with Sai daggers) OW! Hot metal, **hot metal! **(Juggles Sai daggers, then punts them at Felecia) Ouch, my feet! (Hops up and down on one foot)

Felecia: (Sai scratches face) Like, **HOT! **I just used a fur curler! (Switches Hairdryer to "Nuclear Meltdown") **YOU'RE DEAD FOR RUINING MY FLEECE! **(Rapid-Fires rays at Hobbes)

Hobbes: (Struck many times) OW! Oof! Ouch! (Falls to knees)

Susie: Hobbes!

Ozy: (Runs up ahead) I mustn't hit a girl, so I shall empty my anger on you, Jeremy! _Todome da! _(Swings Bo like a baseball bat)

Jeremy: (Grabs Bo, snaps it in half) you're mine! (Trips) WHAT!

Calvin: (Reveals Katana, shimmering in street light) as I was saying, I wanted my sword to get myself a lucky rabbit's foot! (Giggles)

Jeremy: Very funny, weenie! YAAAAAAH!

Ozy: Mr. Bun! You're Quarter Staff!

Mr. Bun: Cowabunga, dude! (Tosses weapon)

Ozy: (Catches) thank you. Now… _Hissatsu!_ (Swings at Jeremy)

Jeremy: (Hit) OOOOOOOOOOOW! (Falls to knees)

Susie: (Rushes Felecia) I call this my Gentle Breeze attack! (Swings Nunchukas in an intricate pattern, striking many times)

Rosalyn: Pass the popcorn, Krang.

Moe: (Passes popcorn bag)

Felecia/Jeremy: (Runs back to Rosalyn) **_take us out of here!_**

Rosalyn: And it was getting good, too. (To PMNT) WE'LL BE BACK! (Boards Technodrome)

Calvin, Hobbes, Ozy, and Susie tossed the colored smoke bombs they were given ahead of time, and vanished into the Turtle Van as policemen helped the civilians and arrested the defeated Foot Ninjas. Millie, however, climbed down from her hideout on the roof of a building and slinked underground.

_Back at the Lair, as Mr. Bun and Splinter slumbered…_

After a quick pizza celebration, the four kids secretly stayed up and talked underneath the covers of their adventure.

Calvin: Man! This was fun!

Hobbes: Yeah, fun right up until I got my lunch lasered!

Ozy: Yes, I didn't think the harm of those people was much fun, even if they deserved it.

Calvin: What are you talking about! You pummeled those guys!

Ozy: Yes, but out of self-defense.

Susie: It has to be about 3:00 PM now. Let's go home.

Calvin: Come on! A little longer?

Susie: Come on, Calvin.

Calvin: (Mumbles) Man, I hate girls… (Out loud) Okay, just hit the on button again.

All: (Presses button) Huh?

Calvin: Uh oh…

_End chapter 2._

_BTW: Here are some terms you may need to know-_

_Quarter Staff: A British Weapon, similar to a Bo Staff, but with metal on the end._

_Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles: TMNT in the UK, it was changed for they thought "Ninja" was too violent._

_Todome Da: Japanese for "The final blow!"_

_Hissatsu: Japanese for "Death blow!" _


	3. Chapter 3

Intro: I've been really lazy with this story and Calvin and Hobbes in Kingdom Hearts lately. Just too much stuff got on my mind, and I simply forgot about my fan factions. I think I'm also afraid of ending C&H in KH, scared that the chapters will be hard to write and the end of an excellent legacy of fans. My updates will have no particular time in the future, but I hope you can be patient, for I plan to finally write chapter 14 of C&H in KH after my two-month hiatus. Until then, I hope you enjoy this, which was procrastinated for over 4 months!

_Chapter 3: Something is wrong in the world of TMNT_

To the kids' horrors, Calvin, Hobbes, Susie, and Ozy cannot remove or deactivate their Toon Helmets. In other words, they found themselves stuck in the cartoon world of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Hobbes: (Bushy-tailed) this isn't good, Calvin! We can't go back!

Calvin: This shouldn't be happening. I programmed these things myself, so why aren't they working?

Ozy: We have to find a way out of this. Maybe we should find that Millie version of April O'Neal.

Calvin: It wouldn't work, dog boy. It isn't the real Millie, it's just April O'Neal!

Susie: Well, we won't know until we try, right? (Gets up) Come on, let's go find her apartment.

Hobbes: (Fallows Susie) I could definitely use a reality check.

Ozy: Are you coming too, Calvin?

Calvin: (Mumbles) yeah, hang on.

_Some time later…_

Not knowing where exactly April O'Neal's apartment is in the world of TMNT New York City, the 4 pseudo-tigers walked around town, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, sticking to the shadows, and otherwise staying out of sight. But this helped our heroes in no way at all, for they were still lost.

Calvin: This is stupid! I don't know why I bothered to fallow you morons.

Ozy: It's better than not even trying at all.

Hobbes: Calvin's right. This is really pointless. Unless we get some kind of really bright Las Vegas style sign (Susie notices something off in the distance), we're never gonna find-

Susie: (Points) FIRE!

Ozy: Susie, I have no use for magic anymore, so I got rid of it, remember?

Susie: No, Ozymandias, I'm talking about April's apartment building, ON FIRE!

Calvin: (To Hobbes) you were saying, Hobbes? (Races towards the apartment)

Ozy: Hang on, April! (Fallows Calvin)

Hobbes: That quote seems really familiar…

The four kids leapt over to the balcony of the apartment's roof. Upon entering, the blazing rooms were filled with Foot Ninja, anticipating the Preteen Mutant Ninja Tigers' and their meddling ways.

Calvin: Just as I thought! Take this, fetish boys! (Draws katana swords and bum rushes the closest ninja)

Hobbes: Why are their always these dumb ninjas everywhere to give us problems? (Draws Sai daggers and throws one at a ninja)

Calvin's rushing attack managed to knock down a purple Foot Ninja, and Calvin's X-slash with both his katana blasted the cut ninja into his buddies, knocking a few down. Meanwhile, Hobbes's Sai-throwing attack was ineffective, for a white Foot Ninja holding a katana in one hand snagged the dagger before it even hit his face, and snapped off the tip. Hobbes forgot his conventional weapon attacks and simply pounced on the white ninja, knocking him down, making him lose his sword, and subjecting the unlucky warrior to Hobbes's furious biting attacks. Another squad of ninjas back-flipped their way into the arena, one drop-kicks Calvin in the face and others surrounding Susie and Ozy.

Ozy: (Draws Bo staff) I don't think we can talk this out like civilized people? (Ducks a punch and catches a Katana in mid-chop) I didn't think so. (Uses Bo like a javelin and punts the katana-user)

Susie: Like Mikey would say, COWABUNGA! (Swings Nunchukas at the crowd's ankles)

Ozy: (Leaps over crowd with Bo Staff) Get away from Susie, you masked cowards! (Swings Bo like a baseball bat, knocking out a few Foots at a time)

As quick and dangerous as the Nunchukas are, Susie was only mortal and had problems fending off the crowd of Foot Ninjas attacking her. Luckily, Ozy was there, choking and pummeling the crowd to unconsciousness with his trusty Bojutsu fighting style. At the same time, Calvin and Hobbes were easily slashing and stabbing their way over to April- er, I mean, MILLIE O'Neal's apartment. Eventually, Susie and Ozy caught up; dodging the falling flaming ceiling boards and other hazards a burning hallway would offer.

Ozy: Millie, uh… APRIL, WE'RE COMING!

Millie: HUH? TIGERS? OZY! HELP MEEEEEEEEEE!

Calvin: Gee, you really think that's the real Millie, Ozy?

Ozy: Positive! Excuse me irrationality, but I have a HUGE premonition about this!

Susie: Well, then for the love of true love, let's go get to her!

Hobbes: This still feels like I'm playing the TMNT Arcade Game…

Entering Millie O'Neal's apartment, Ozy saw what earnestly looked like HIS Millie: a red fox with black paws and demin-jean overalls. And to make manners worse, she was being manhandled (animal-handled?) by one bold Foot Ninja. In a panic, Ozy torn through the small crowd and leapt over the blazing inferno that used to be a love seat couch to strike the ninja as hard as he could with his Bo Staff.

Ozy: GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER! _Bakka!_

Calvin: Whoa!

Susie: Calvin, don't be worried about Ozy… worry about our enemies! (Blocks a Kasuri-Gama slice with Nunchuck chain)

Hobbes: Oh yeah! (Pokes Susie's assailant with Sai blade's hook)

Calvin: (Dodges a gunshot from a red-uniformed ninja) Hey, ninjas NEVER use guns, newbie! (Slaps gun out of the ninja's hand with his sword, then chops the firearm in half)

: Back up, you cretins! It's my turn!

: Yeah, let me a good bite of tiger!

Hobbes: Who had those voices again?

Susie: Uh-oh! Baxter Stockman and Leatherhead!

Appearing from a broken window were two familiar faces in the form of TMNT bad guys. The very first was Calvin's dad, but he looked like a fly monster in a lab coat. The other was Ozy's adoptive dragon father, but he had a cowboy-style hat, brown leather jacket and boots, and blue jeans.

Dad: I'll squash you tigers like bugs, because I am… Dadster!

Llewellyn: Leave some of their guts for me, Scale Face, youse slimy fly boy!

Ozy: (Pulls Millie away from Dadster and Scale Face) Oh, great, who's next? Ms. Mudd?

Millie: Miss Mudd… wait-a-second-OZY!

Calvin: HEY! No time for name games, fox boy!

Susie: Yes, we have bigger things to worry about now.

Hobbes: (Becomes scared, tail fluffy and knees knocking) MUCH bigger things!

Calvin leapt into the air, slashing Dadster with both Katana Blades. Ozy was a bit hesitant fighting his father, so he aided Calvin in attacking the Stockman wannabe. Llewellyn, AKA Scale Face, stomped his way over to Susie and got ready to chomp a big bite out of her, had Hobbes not stuck his broken Sai dagger into his back. Llewellyn yelped in pain, tossing Susie into the air at the same time. Susie quickly used her Nunchuck chain to grab onto a lamp's cords, and then swung forward, shooting herself back at Scale Face/Llewellyn's mug.

Millie: (Tries to run, but cut off by Dadster) Eep! Get away, you booger brain! (Punches Dadster)

Dadster: Ouch! You little maggot! (Draws a laser gun to fire at Millie)

Ozy: Not so quickly. (Dashes underneath Millie/Dadster's legs and chokes Dadster with Bo staff)

Dadster, despite his air being cut off by Ozy, fired the ray gun. Even though he missed his target, the beam still cut through Calvin, who was already racing towards the scene. Calvin stumbled back and collapsed after this painful ray. Meanwhile, Scale Face may have been powerful, but stood no chance against the stabs and slams from Susie and Hobbes, and eventually fell. When his head hit the floor, Hobbes and Susie heard a loud crack. Worried it was his skull, Susie felt Llewellyn's head, and realized there was some invisible metal object on his noggin. She pulled it off, and the object appeared in the scene: It was a metal helmet!

Susie: Hobbes! Check this out!

Hobbes: What is this thing? If I know my cartoons right, I think that's a mind-control helmet.

Susie: Uh-oh. (To Ozy) STOP, OZY! You're really hitting Calvin's dad!

Ozy: (Stops) What! (Dadster smashes him into the floor, giving Ozy a bloody nose)

Dadster: (Grabs Millie) See you, slime balls! (Flies out the door)

Millie: OZY! HAAAAAAAAAAALP!

Llewellyn: (Gets up) Ugh… what has happened… (Notices Ozy) Ozymandias?

Ozy: Dad, you can… really see me outside of this tiger form?

Calvin: (Gets up) OWWWWWWW! Man, that laser beam hurt!

Hobbes: Yeah, but what's going on?

Susie: This is going to take a while…

_End chapter 3._

_Japanese Terms: Only one, Bakka, which means "Stupid"._

_This is a warm-up for when I start writing the finishing chapters of C&H in KH._


End file.
